A Shard of Doubt
by Hiroko Maruyama
Summary: This is a fic about Sango's and Kohaku's thoughts on finding the last shard of the shikon jewel. Based heavily on the latest chapters of Inu Yasha. Please read and review!!!


Author's notes: HI HI!!!! It's me, Empress Sasami, with another fic. Lemme warn you, this will only make sense to those who have been reading the latest installments of Inu Yasha from Shounen Sunday. If you want to read the translations, there is a site called Sengoku o Togi-Zoushi that has wonderful translations for you to read. This story is about Sango's and Kohaku's thought's about the last shard. Constructive criticism, compliments, and flames are all welcome. 

  
Disclaimer: Do I sound like I own Inu Yasha? I don't have enough money to own an inu yasha manga. So don't even try. 

**A Shard Of Doubt**

  
  
  
The group marches on, looking for a way to get to the boundary between this world and the next. The place where the final shard of the shikon no tama is. It is said that only the dead may pass through those gates, but none know what that means. Our heroes are off to find out exactly the meaning. Trees block out the evening moon from the forest floor, making it hard for our young heroes to see exactly where they are walking. It was a foggy night, not a star in sight, with the occasional glimpse of the moon behind some clouds. Five people walk through the brush and bushes, relishing one of their last moments to relax. But out of these five, one seems lost in thought.

  
Sango couldn't stop thinking about that last shikon shard. ~If we go to the boundary between this world and the next, who knows what will happen. They say that only the dead may pass, but does that mean anything?~

  
"Am I.....really wrong?"

  
Kagome turned to her friend, confusion practically written on her face. "Eh? What do you mean Sango-chan?"

  
Miroku also drifted towards Sango, concerned for his fiancee. "Sango-san, what are you talking about?"

  
Shippou was asleep in the bike that Inu Yasha was carrying. He didn't even turn to say "Oi, Sango. What the hell are ya talking about?"

  
Sango became a tad red around the cheeks, embarrassed at her thinking out loud. "Uh.....nothing. I.....was thinking about an argument I had a while back with Houshi-sama, but it's nothing." Sango was never good at covering things up, for this just sparked more questioning.

  
"Sango, you know it wasn't your fault. You were totally justified in throwing Hiraikotsu at me. I shouldn't have been off chasing women again." Miroku apologized.

  
Inu Yasha continued to walk. "Whatever it is you're talking about, get over it. We have to get to the boundary before Hakudoushi does."

  
Kagome began to defend her friend, which resulted in another of their lover's spats, though neither would ever agree to their little "disagreements" as lover's spats. Miroku learned to stay out of these arguments from all of the bashings he'd received from Inu Yasha.

  
But all of these things seemed minuscule to the problems that Sango was facing in her heart. While her friends were off looking for the last shard in the place between this world and the next, she knew exactly where it is. But if she ever told where it was, she'd lose one of the things most precious to her.

  
  
They settled down for the night, made a fire, and tried to get to sleep. But sleep did not come easily to Sango. She was hiding such important information from her friends, and still didn't know what to do.

  
  
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Somewhere many miles away from where Sango was pondering her problem, the shard was asleep, dreaming of memories long forgotten. Of a sister who had tried to protect him until his death, of a youkai controlling him, making him kill all of those precious to him. He had died, then come back to life. The shard resided in Kohaku, the boundary between this world and the next.

  
He knew that the shard kept him alive. He didn't know that his was the last shard to be collected. He dreaded the day that it would leave him. He dreamed of the day that he would finally be able to rest in the land of the dead. However, most of his memories were lost to him. He had no idea that he had a sister who had almost died trying to protect him. He knew he should be dead.

  
But for now, he would let his dreams of memories keep him alive until he'd have to pass quietly on to the next world.

  
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Sango couldn't sleep all night. She couldn't decide whether or not to tell her friends about her brother. If she told them, he'd die, but if she didn't, she'd be putting them in unnecessary peril. It's decisions like these that drive her crazy.

  
She still remembered what it felt like to have her own brother stab her in the back. Literally. Even if he WAS being possessed by a youkai, it still hurt. Just for one minute, before he died, he was Kohaku, though. He had said, "Onee-chan, I'm scared...." and died. Sango held onto that memory of him, convincing herself that Kohaku was still a good person.  


But lately, Kohaku had been committing such terrible crimes and sins, that Sango worried that he'd never be her Kohaku again. Naraku still controlled him because of that shard in his back which kept him alive, defying death. Naraku had taken away her whole family and village, now he'd stolen her precious little brother from her too. What more would he do to ruin her life? 

  
Kohaku couldn't remember a thing about what had happened or the people he loved, not even his own sister. This pained Sango even more than everything else combined. She had loved Kohaku so much and still loved him, even though what he was doing was so terrible, yet he didn't remember her at all. 

  
The stars filled the sky that night, like chocolate chips in ice cream. In that era, there were no city lights to dim the stars' light. Nothing to hinder the beautiful light that the stars gave off, just pure starlight and moonlight. 

  
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Kohaku couldn't sleep the next night either. His nightmares were keeping him up again. Nightmares of a family murdered by him, a sister betrayed by him, of countless murdered or maimed by him. These memories were all just fog in his brain, something he knew, but couldn't fully recollect. All he knew was that Naraku was his master, he must obey him at all costs. 

  
Even if it meant his life. 

  
Though Kohaku couldn't remember his past life, he did know that he was supposed to be dead. The Shikon shard in his back kept him alive, defying death, keeping him from feeling the eternal rest that he longed for, to play with the Tatarimokke and pass on. Shards of his memory tugged at his consciousness, and he began to feel the memories flow back to him.

_  
" Onee-chan, I'm scared..."_

  
A young girl with long black hair in a ponytail and Taiji-ya armor on knelt next to him with blood all over her. She held onto him, telling him that it was all right. He felt the spears pierce his body, but the pain wasn't as bad as the knowledge that he'd murdered his family, his comrades.....and even his sister. He deserved to die. Why should he live? He'd done such horrible things, why couldn't he repent for them by dying? He went to the next world peacefully.

  
He remembered. Everything. His life as a Taiji-ya, his family, his murdering. It all flowed back to him like a wave, raising to a certain height, then crashing down on him, smothering him in endless thoughts. His past, finally clear to him, begins to haunt him. Though while most of the memories were tainted black in his mind, a glimmer of light shined through, like a shikon shard in a pool of cursed ink.

  
Sango. Sango-chan. Onee-chan. All these words meant one thing, and that was the most important person in his life. His older sister was always there.

_  
"I-I'm not scared of becoming a Taiji-ya." I stuttered out. I was receiving my official taiji-ya armor that day. Sitting atop a flower bed of a hill, I could look out over the village and see the beginning of the forest. It was calm there, and having Sango there made it even better. But I was still nervous about becoming an official Taiji-ya. Going out to risk my life for people I didn't even know just for money._

  
"It's okay Kohaku, I was scared when I first became a Taiji-ya, just like Father was, and the other taiji-ya too. But while it was scary, I knew I had a little brother to fight for. So when I began my work, I wasn't frightened anymore. I just know you'll be okay. Cuz you are MY little brother, aren't you?"

  
Sango turned to look at me and smiled that smile that always reassured me that everything would be okay. I smiled back at her, then turned to look over the town, taking in all its beauty and tranquility. Little did I know that I would never see that village ever again.

  
Kohaku stared into the dark, all his memories washing back. But there was nothing he could do; he couldn't rebel against Naraku, because he controlled everything Kohaku did. Kohaku was no longer in control of his body, but more like a looker on from outside. He couldn't sleep ever again after that night.

  
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Inu Yasha's team set off for the boundary between this world and the next. None now what they will find there. But hopefully, there is one more shard in that boundary, not in Kohaku. How will we know? Must Kohaku die? Or will these heroes die trying? 


End file.
